Lots been going on...

But I haven't made time to write it all down. My thoughts will be jumbled. I can pretty much guarantee that.
I think I'm beginning to realize that alot of my doubts and questions were coming out of my discontent with myself to be issues of God. There are things about myself that I don't like. I don't like that I can't change them. That I know there is better for me, but I insist on the same ol' same ol'. I guess I'm insane according to Einstein...doing the same things and expecting different results.
I still have legitimate questions, but I think I'm actually willing to start engaging with God again.
Church was awesome this weekend...Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be Sons and Daughters of God. I am definitely a peacekeeper, not necessarily a peacemaker. Or I guess I have been. I don't think I've really had to deal with much peace these days. I think I'm taking steps to be a peacemaker, to resolve things. But to be a son of God. So good. I think that is something I really desire. Its interesting that Jesus uses that term for people, since He is the Son of God. It seems almost like heresy or something.
Anyhow, I've got so many stressors right now, so I'm going to begin to start to deal with them, and invite God along for the ride. I could use some peace right now.