...is quite lovely sometimes.
I have been on the move constantly for 4 days now. I have a little time tonight to sit back and rest. Not much, but I'll enjoy it.
It is my calm before the storm.
The storm could be relatively easy, but its just the fact that everything is all crammed together and I want to do fun stuff. But, to be honest, I have been having a great time.
STIM was awesome this weekend. It got me really excited about summer missions. I don't know how much it prepared me (since I haven't gone and been through LAUP yet), but I believe it has gotten me to think in the right direction. It certainly developed some interesting points. I recognize my heart isn't as open to new things now that I'm 20. I've been living in a culture for 20 years and don't even recognize it as culture until I run into others. I also want to be willing to interact openly and honestly with my team and be able to put my finger on what it is that is bothering me (if/when it does). I also recognized that I am a goal oriented person. I need to stay focused on the end result to stay motivated, especially with people. I'm also beginning to discover that they are pretty much the only thing that is worth the effort, but they take alot of effort.
Also, Doug came down this weekend! It was pretty durn awesome. I wish we were going to school closer to each other. Maybe it will work out for me to go to SLO or something. I played probably the best tennis of my life on Sunday though. My body is falling apart right now though...I think my wrist is broken again. My knee hurts like crazy (sometimes) and I sliced my finger open at work.
I only have one more day at work I think. Its been so good working at this job. I'm sad not to be able to focus more on it and enjoy it. But school is crazy and end of the year stuff all at random times.
Well, I haven't read much more of TPOP so I need to get on that. But I must say that my reading of chapter 6 basically narrated my day.
Monday, April 27, 2009
Monday, April 13, 2009
Chapter 2, Problem of Pain
Alright, now CS Lewis begins to get into the heart of the matter. His entire first chapter was dedicated to discovering that pain is only a problem under certain circumstances. This chapter, he begins to explain why the option of pain must exist.
First, Lewis begins with an explanation of what we mean by 'impossible' and how that phrase could be followed by 'unless.' There are always some extenuating circumstances that could lead to something else, even if they are not expected, known or understood. He further points out that God cannot do nonsense. Two mutually exclusive opposites cannot both be true. For example, it cannot be both light and dark. That is not a limit to God's power (maybe we are limited in understanding that power) but is nonsense that remains nonsense.
Nature might then be a way to understand a God as uncaring. Lewis points out that we understand ourselves in relation to something outside of ourselves, that we must understand ourselves through contrast of what we are not. Nature must exist in order to form a common leave of experience for man. In order for free will to exist, there must be a choice. In order for choice to exist, there must be at least two different options. Even in a two being system, you can either choose the other over yourself, or yourself over the other.
The world is created as a neutral field of experience. If I walk downhill one direction, someone traveling the other direction must be going uphill. This does not imply evil. The use by man of the neutral world's resources either result in a selfish or selfless action. Either help, or cause pain. Thus, in a neutral ground with free will, choices must be made that can lead to good, or bad. Heath or suffering. It seems almost necessary then, that God created this world. My favorite quote from this chapter is "But such a world [one that had been corrected of the results of abuse] would be one in which wrong actions are impossible, and in which, freedom of will would be void..." He goes on to discuss such rare changes to this system, known as miracles. The rarity and that's-not-supposed-to-happen-ness! is what necessarily marks a miracle.
Another favorite: "Try to exclude the possibility of suffering which the order of nature and existence of free wills involve, and you will find that you have excluded life itself.
Now all of this does not necessarily imply a "good" God. Which is what he writes about tomorrow. Woooohoooo!
First, Lewis begins with an explanation of what we mean by 'impossible' and how that phrase could be followed by 'unless.' There are always some extenuating circumstances that could lead to something else, even if they are not expected, known or understood. He further points out that God cannot do nonsense. Two mutually exclusive opposites cannot both be true. For example, it cannot be both light and dark. That is not a limit to God's power (maybe we are limited in understanding that power) but is nonsense that remains nonsense.
Nature might then be a way to understand a God as uncaring. Lewis points out that we understand ourselves in relation to something outside of ourselves, that we must understand ourselves through contrast of what we are not. Nature must exist in order to form a common leave of experience for man. In order for free will to exist, there must be a choice. In order for choice to exist, there must be at least two different options. Even in a two being system, you can either choose the other over yourself, or yourself over the other.
The world is created as a neutral field of experience. If I walk downhill one direction, someone traveling the other direction must be going uphill. This does not imply evil. The use by man of the neutral world's resources either result in a selfish or selfless action. Either help, or cause pain. Thus, in a neutral ground with free will, choices must be made that can lead to good, or bad. Heath or suffering. It seems almost necessary then, that God created this world. My favorite quote from this chapter is "But such a world [one that had been corrected of the results of abuse] would be one in which wrong actions are impossible, and in which, freedom of will would be void..." He goes on to discuss such rare changes to this system, known as miracles. The rarity and that's-not-supposed-to-happen-ness! is what necessarily marks a miracle.
Another favorite: "Try to exclude the possibility of suffering which the order of nature and existence of free wills involve, and you will find that you have excluded life itself.
Now all of this does not necessarily imply a "good" God. Which is what he writes about tomorrow. Woooohoooo!
Good Stuff...
Well, this has been a really nice weekend. I'm starting to settle into being busy. I'm enjoying being awake. Naps still sound amazing, but I think I need to cut back. And its been a good day of just being awake. Now its choosing to be aware, and after awareness, doing something to accomplish good.
I got a B+ on a paper from Montag. I got 2 B- last semester. So its a very welcome jump. This paper I turned in today is really a good one. Even if he doesn't like it very much, it has been blowing my mind about Ecclesiastes (Kohelet) and Genesis, and how similar they are to each other in some regards. I don't know how to resolve some of the problems that logic and my interpretations have brought up, but I feel like I actually have some decent questions.
I re-hurt my wrist yesterday. Hopefully the pain and swelling will go down. I don't care if it takes a long time...I'd just like to know whether its broken or just hurting a bit.
I couldn't agree with Lauren about facebook more. Its nice to have it back, but its great to recognize how not important it is. The picures are nice, and random comments from distant friends. But...its not essential to my life.
So I'm reading this awesome book by C.S. Lewis called "The Problem of Pain." I couldn't have summarized it better than Lauren did unless I just quoted Lewis. So...I'm going to let her summary stand and just say a few comments...then go read the next chapter!
The quote to summarize the entire book was amazing, and blew my mind. It's from George MacDonald. He says "The Son of God suffered unto death, not that men might not suffer, but that their sufferings might be like His." thats a crazy way to think about things. There are a few things I think Lewis draws way out of proportion. But one point of arguement that I love is that either Jesus was crazy (He called himself the Son of God!!!) or he was who he said he was (He called himself the Son of God!!!). The whole idea of the "problem of pain" is not/should not be an issue unless you have concluded things about the world that involve his four other points (that Lauren nicely summarizes). Maybe you could argue that you only need one or two of those, and I might concede those, but you still need to have an understanding of a morality, and identify someplace that authority comes from. So, basically, if you don't have those two things in place, then pain shouldn't be a problem. And yet it is, which can make some sense as to why man understands those four essential points. This is so like science. If blind evolution is true...then there is no need for a moral center...especially if you are still able to survive and reproduce.
Lewis opened his book with a denunciation of nature as being an argument for God. I've always seen it and known there was something more powerful, that things could not be left to chance. However, Lewis points out that his main point of contradiction was that most of the universe was empty space, and was unimaginably cold, and that things didn't work out quite so well. Why not? It was just interesting to have one of the most common arguments dealt with in such a manner.
Totally looking forward to more reading. He can really convey complex ideas to the common person (me) very well. I'm a fan!
I got a B+ on a paper from Montag. I got 2 B- last semester. So its a very welcome jump. This paper I turned in today is really a good one. Even if he doesn't like it very much, it has been blowing my mind about Ecclesiastes (Kohelet) and Genesis, and how similar they are to each other in some regards. I don't know how to resolve some of the problems that logic and my interpretations have brought up, but I feel like I actually have some decent questions.
I re-hurt my wrist yesterday. Hopefully the pain and swelling will go down. I don't care if it takes a long time...I'd just like to know whether its broken or just hurting a bit.
I couldn't agree with Lauren about facebook more. Its nice to have it back, but its great to recognize how not important it is. The picures are nice, and random comments from distant friends. But...its not essential to my life.
So I'm reading this awesome book by C.S. Lewis called "The Problem of Pain." I couldn't have summarized it better than Lauren did unless I just quoted Lewis. So...I'm going to let her summary stand and just say a few comments...then go read the next chapter!
The quote to summarize the entire book was amazing, and blew my mind. It's from George MacDonald. He says "The Son of God suffered unto death, not that men might not suffer, but that their sufferings might be like His." thats a crazy way to think about things. There are a few things I think Lewis draws way out of proportion. But one point of arguement that I love is that either Jesus was crazy (He called himself the Son of God!!!) or he was who he said he was (He called himself the Son of God!!!). The whole idea of the "problem of pain" is not/should not be an issue unless you have concluded things about the world that involve his four other points (that Lauren nicely summarizes). Maybe you could argue that you only need one or two of those, and I might concede those, but you still need to have an understanding of a morality, and identify someplace that authority comes from. So, basically, if you don't have those two things in place, then pain shouldn't be a problem. And yet it is, which can make some sense as to why man understands those four essential points. This is so like science. If blind evolution is true...then there is no need for a moral center...especially if you are still able to survive and reproduce.
Lewis opened his book with a denunciation of nature as being an argument for God. I've always seen it and known there was something more powerful, that things could not be left to chance. However, Lewis points out that his main point of contradiction was that most of the universe was empty space, and was unimaginably cold, and that things didn't work out quite so well. Why not? It was just interesting to have one of the most common arguments dealt with in such a manner.
Totally looking forward to more reading. He can really convey complex ideas to the common person (me) very well. I'm a fan!
Saturday, April 11, 2009
Whew....
What a week it has been. What a rest of the year it is going to be. Almost non-stop stuff to do. I need to just keep trucking and hope for the best. Especially with Organic Chemistry. I'm not exactly sure how well I'm going to do in that class. Its not looking good right now. I really gotta make some adjustments.
I took a three hour nap today. I really need to soak in some love, and thats one of the ways I've felt really comfortable. I think its kinda one way I hide from stuff that is going on. But I also needed it.
Tomorrow is going to be filled with athletic stuff. Soccer in the morning, Quidditch at noon, and then football practice after that. I'm also going to go book shopping with Lauren. totally excited to read through a book for fun/serious discussion with someone. Especially when its over C.S. Lewis, who is amazing in and of himself. Saw Lauren sing today. Pretty much awesome. Two observations. One: she has an awesome voice, and two: it is interesting how, even though she was singing in another language, people in the audience were able to read her body language and know exactly what she was singing about. Well, I was sitting next to her sister, who does happen to know Italian.
I also had work today. It was pretty awesome. I always feel really blessed when people come and visit me, even if it isn't necessarily for me. It really speaks to the quality of the friends that I have. Or how cool my job is. :-) But seriously. I have such amazing friends.
I'm excited about the paper I'm writing for Montag as well. Its about the similarities of knowledge and its relation to work in Genesis as compared with Ecclesiastes, or Kohelet. One thing about that class is that it makes me realize that there are alot of questions Christians aren't asking, or at least don't have/should have definite answers about. One of the things that is most difficult to understand about God is that you can't understand Him. I believe that there will always be mysteries, even if the only mystery left is His love for us. I don't think we can possibly comprehend that. I have difficulty believing it as well. I think, partially because I am selfish and stuff, but also because it is so difficult to understand. I have to just be able to accept and live in that truth.
I guess you can't make anyone love you, and if you make someone love you, what kind of love is that? I mean certainly you can take steps to be loving and loveable. But forcing. Sigh.
Going to be making some phone calls this Easter...yay! I'm looking forward to talking to my fam.
Alright. Possibly enough scattered thoughts for the evening.
I took a three hour nap today. I really need to soak in some love, and thats one of the ways I've felt really comfortable. I think its kinda one way I hide from stuff that is going on. But I also needed it.
Tomorrow is going to be filled with athletic stuff. Soccer in the morning, Quidditch at noon, and then football practice after that. I'm also going to go book shopping with Lauren. totally excited to read through a book for fun/serious discussion with someone. Especially when its over C.S. Lewis, who is amazing in and of himself. Saw Lauren sing today. Pretty much awesome. Two observations. One: she has an awesome voice, and two: it is interesting how, even though she was singing in another language, people in the audience were able to read her body language and know exactly what she was singing about. Well, I was sitting next to her sister, who does happen to know Italian.
I also had work today. It was pretty awesome. I always feel really blessed when people come and visit me, even if it isn't necessarily for me. It really speaks to the quality of the friends that I have. Or how cool my job is. :-) But seriously. I have such amazing friends.
I'm excited about the paper I'm writing for Montag as well. Its about the similarities of knowledge and its relation to work in Genesis as compared with Ecclesiastes, or Kohelet. One thing about that class is that it makes me realize that there are alot of questions Christians aren't asking, or at least don't have/should have definite answers about. One of the things that is most difficult to understand about God is that you can't understand Him. I believe that there will always be mysteries, even if the only mystery left is His love for us. I don't think we can possibly comprehend that. I have difficulty believing it as well. I think, partially because I am selfish and stuff, but also because it is so difficult to understand. I have to just be able to accept and live in that truth.
I guess you can't make anyone love you, and if you make someone love you, what kind of love is that? I mean certainly you can take steps to be loving and loveable. But forcing. Sigh.
Going to be making some phone calls this Easter...yay! I'm looking forward to talking to my fam.
Alright. Possibly enough scattered thoughts for the evening.
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
Lots been going on...
But I haven't made time to write it all down. My thoughts will be jumbled. I can pretty much guarantee that.
I think I'm beginning to realize that alot of my doubts and questions were coming out of my discontent with myself to be issues of God. There are things about myself that I don't like. I don't like that I can't change them. That I know there is better for me, but I insist on the same ol' same ol'. I guess I'm insane according to Einstein...doing the same things and expecting different results.
I still have legitimate questions, but I think I'm actually willing to start engaging with God again.
Church was awesome this weekend...Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be Sons and Daughters of God. I am definitely a peacekeeper, not necessarily a peacemaker. Or I guess I have been. I don't think I've really had to deal with much peace these days. I think I'm taking steps to be a peacemaker, to resolve things. But to be a son of God. So good. I think that is something I really desire. Its interesting that Jesus uses that term for people, since He is the Son of God. It seems almost like heresy or something.
Anyhow, I've got so many stressors right now, so I'm going to begin to start to deal with them, and invite God along for the ride. I could use some peace right now.
I think I'm beginning to realize that alot of my doubts and questions were coming out of my discontent with myself to be issues of God. There are things about myself that I don't like. I don't like that I can't change them. That I know there is better for me, but I insist on the same ol' same ol'. I guess I'm insane according to Einstein...doing the same things and expecting different results.
I still have legitimate questions, but I think I'm actually willing to start engaging with God again.
Church was awesome this weekend...Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be Sons and Daughters of God. I am definitely a peacekeeper, not necessarily a peacemaker. Or I guess I have been. I don't think I've really had to deal with much peace these days. I think I'm taking steps to be a peacemaker, to resolve things. But to be a son of God. So good. I think that is something I really desire. Its interesting that Jesus uses that term for people, since He is the Son of God. It seems almost like heresy or something.
Anyhow, I've got so many stressors right now, so I'm going to begin to start to deal with them, and invite God along for the ride. I could use some peace right now.
Friday, April 3, 2009
Limits
I sometimes wonder what my limits are. I know I have them. And most, I haven't reached. But I definitely know I have them.
I do things, but I don't know why.
I've been having struggles with God, but I've felt afraid, or unable to answer them. And maybe it doesn't have to be me that answers them, but it only feels like me right now.
So the best way I can describe part of my question is the epic, "which came first? the chicken or the egg." Basically, when people have religious experiences, a certain part of the brain lights up. Is it as a result of the "religious experience" or is it because the brain fires that the religious experience happens.
What would my life look like without God? It would certainly change my perspective on the world. Without God, I feel like there is no reason to "follow the rules" which I can't come to terms with. Is then, religion functioning like Vonnegut suggests in Cat's Cradle, where religion unites people in peace and enables something special to happen. Assuming its like that, I still kinda want to choose religion, but thats where I could choose to accept an easy form of it. Like the "stereotypical" Christian...but that doesn't involve any real life change, or any super sacrifice...and the division in the church is stupid.
We, meaning humans, love to unify by division. Find people with similar interests and cling to those. I wonder if that is why I'm doing well with the IV kids...that we just were raised in the same way, or recognized something about each other...I don't know. But I do know that my friends care for me.
Ugh. I feel like I'm writing my own Ecclesiastes, where I am trying to understand what I know, but I see something else happening, and I'm not sure how the two correlate.
Well, at least some of my thoughts are out.
I need to find a question, well, I need to keep seeking, and feeling like I can get somewhere by seeking.
I'm watching Lord of the Rings now, and I think some of the questions/thought processes apply. I want to get back to where I was, but I want to do it by answering these questions, which means I won't be the same, but I will grow.
I pray that my prayers are being heard by something out there.
I do things, but I don't know why.
I've been having struggles with God, but I've felt afraid, or unable to answer them. And maybe it doesn't have to be me that answers them, but it only feels like me right now.
So the best way I can describe part of my question is the epic, "which came first? the chicken or the egg." Basically, when people have religious experiences, a certain part of the brain lights up. Is it as a result of the "religious experience" or is it because the brain fires that the religious experience happens.
What would my life look like without God? It would certainly change my perspective on the world. Without God, I feel like there is no reason to "follow the rules" which I can't come to terms with. Is then, religion functioning like Vonnegut suggests in Cat's Cradle, where religion unites people in peace and enables something special to happen. Assuming its like that, I still kinda want to choose religion, but thats where I could choose to accept an easy form of it. Like the "stereotypical" Christian...but that doesn't involve any real life change, or any super sacrifice...and the division in the church is stupid.
We, meaning humans, love to unify by division. Find people with similar interests and cling to those. I wonder if that is why I'm doing well with the IV kids...that we just were raised in the same way, or recognized something about each other...I don't know. But I do know that my friends care for me.
Ugh. I feel like I'm writing my own Ecclesiastes, where I am trying to understand what I know, but I see something else happening, and I'm not sure how the two correlate.
Well, at least some of my thoughts are out.
I need to find a question, well, I need to keep seeking, and feeling like I can get somewhere by seeking.
I'm watching Lord of the Rings now, and I think some of the questions/thought processes apply. I want to get back to where I was, but I want to do it by answering these questions, which means I won't be the same, but I will grow.
I pray that my prayers are being heard by something out there.
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