I didn't write today

So I'm cramming this in so I can keep my streak going.

I felt great today. I think working out/doing some physical activity helps me greatly.
I'm glad to be back in school. I did well on a test today.

I'm leading one of my favorite passages tomorrow. Yay!

Sabbath

Well, its Sunday, and one of my first weekends where I have set aside the day for God. He's really been reassuring me today. I was looking for answers with by setting aside this day, and I believe I have reached some conclusions.
Matthew chapter 5 thru chapter 7 hit me pretty hard today. They helped me to realize that what I was thinking wasn't totally off base, and in fact, very in line with what Jesus desires for us. The entire sermon seemed to hit me right where I needed to be hit. the metaphors and analogies all seem in place. Its amazing to see in one sermon how many lessons Jesus gives, but yet how interconnected they are.
It was interesting today that the sermon I went to was on "blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be filled." I decided to fast awhile ago today, and didn't realize the coincidence until the pastor read the verse and I felt hunger. I don't really understand what fasting is, why exactly its done, or whatever, but I know it has certainly humbled me before God. Whenever I get hungry, I begin to think of Him and place my focus there, so it is a great reminder.
I went running with Megan H yesterday. That was alot of fun. Running is good. I think I will try to do some bike tonight while I read something.
I'm really excited to start working. I feel bad though, because all the times that he wanted me to come in, I have already made commitments during. I don't want to be a problem, but I feel like I am right now. Hopefully I can redeem that image, but I know what I've committed to and he chose to hire me anyhow. Thank God too. What a blessing to FIND a job in this market right now. And a great one too!
Taking a Sabbath really helps you to focus on what is important, and what you love, and why you do the things you do. I ought to practice this more often. I mean, its one of the ten commandments that everyone breaks.
Finished voice recording for the movie! So stoked about it. It was really awesome. Can't wait to see it on the "big screen" and show off my vocal skillz.

The Hand Song

I hadn't listened to this song until a few days ago, and its an amazing song, so I just thought I'd like to share...just to keep my 2 day streak alive and move it to 3. I have alot to report, but just wanted to make sure I posted something.

The boy only wanted to give Mother something
And all of her roses had bloomed
Looking at her as he came rushing in with them
Knowing her roses were doomed
All she could see were some thorns buried deep
And the tears that he cried as she tended his wounds

And she knew it was love
It was one she could understand
He was showing his love
And that's how he hurt his hands

He still remembers that night as child
On his mother's knee
She held him close and she opened her bible
And quietly started to read
And seeing a picture of Jesus he cried out
"Momma, he's got some scars just like me."

And he knew it was love
It was one he could understand
He was showing his love
And that's how he hurt his hands

Now the boy's grown and moved out on his own
When Uncle Sam comes along
A foreign affair, but our young men were there
And luck had his number drawn
It wasn't that long till our hero was gone
He gave to a friend what he learned from the cross

But they knew it was love
It was one they could understand
He was showing his love
And that's how he hurt his hands

It was one they could understand
He was showing his love
And that's how he hurt his hands

Alright...I'm back

In Socal. It is nice to be home, but I don't feel like I have much to contribute there anymore. I was asked if I had any questions for my parents this weekend. I think I should, but I don't. The only questions I can think of are super awkward and I don't really want to know the answer, which is why I haven't asked before. But I just feel like I have a question, but don't really know what it is.
I had a nice car ride. Its nice to get lost in your thoughts. Also can be frustrating when you have a great thought, and then you realize you are thinking, thus losing the thought. Maybe thats just me. I seem to have a one track mind, though I can multitask mindlessly. But thats why its bad for me to study with other people, or with music, even though I love both. I can't listen to two conversations.
I don't know how to interact with my parents about my faith. Some of it, most of it actually, doesn't make sense to people who don't have it. The risk that Jesus took for us shows me how weak some of my risks are, but nonetheless they scare me. I'm going to be fasting about one decision that scares me this weekend. Sunday is going to be a Riley + God day and hopefully that will resolve something I've been thinking about for a long time.
Faith, Hope and Love are some good things He gave us, and the greatest is Love.
I read through one of my journals from two years ago (specifically my "prayer" journal that Helen gave me), and it was amazing how deep I got into that journal. I was glad to have started to read it. It brought back some real convictions.
I've realized that I like to work for other people, but not for myself. So what I'm going to try to do is put everything in context of my friends, present and future family, and to dream for that. I think that will help ME to accomplish things.
I was thinking about the song "Cat's Cradle" by Harry Chapin...it is one of my most inspiring songs even though the song itself is bleak. It serves as a warning to me. I don't want to be someone who goes through life blind and doesn't realize how my actions affect other people. I don't want to look back at the example I lead and see it in other people and have that example be the worst thing. I'll need help with that one.

Inconsistency..and so it goes.

I've been feeling kinda depressed today, but I'm not really sure why. I have my sneaking suspicions, but those can keep stealthily sneaking along if they'd like.
I'm back at home for a few days of spring break, and things have been going really well. I don't know why I feel out there. i just don't feel like I'm doing anything productive. I think I need a good workout or run or something.
My room has been repainted and redecorated since I was last home. It looks very nice. It certainly doesn't represent Riley as well as my other room did, but it looks very nice.
My parents have really enjoyed me coming home to see them. They love me. But its hard for me to want that sometimes, or accept that. They really are great people, but I am beginning to see how being away from them has affected who I am, and allowed that to come out.
Mantreat at Joshua tree was very cool. I was so glad to get to join all the guys and just have some laughs without worrying about certain social constructs. Usually, I'm better able to make friends with girls, so this was nice. I still want to fight with that coyote we saw though. So far, the only reason I've wanted to go on facebook is to post the pictures from Mantreat. Thats good. It shows I really don't need facebook, though it is super convinient.
I'm doing voice recordings for a movie (on campus). Its really kinda fun. I'm enjoying it alot.
My mom got out of surgury ok today. I'm glad. She's really special. I've been growing to appreciate her more and more over the years. There is so much going on right now, I don't think I know what to do with myself when everything stops. I don't know if I'm feeling guilty, or bored or ...? But I do feel off.
Oh, I did get a job though. Something to be said for that, especially in this job market. I'm actually really excited about that.
I think I just need more discipline in my life. That will be helpful. I'm glad I wrote some stuff out tonight. I like doing this. I am not sure if it helps, or how, but I like it. But I don't unless I feel crappy. Which is stupid. I think that is how I use God. I just kinda stumble along on my own until I need Him again, and then I call out. So He continues to be my servant. I need to be His. I know this is not always the case, that sometimes I do what I'm told, and listen to what He has said, but other times...not so much. I feel like I have something to share, but I don't even know what it is.
Well, maybe it will come to me.

Lent

Well, I've never really done Lent before, so I don't really know what it looks like to do. But I'm starting off bigtime...I think. Multiple commitments, but things i've been wanting to hold myself to for some time.
First of all, no Facebook! So if you know me on here, then we can chat through here...since one of my other goals is to start writing. So this goal is accomplished by my typing. I'm also trying to read for fun, read the Bible, and have a song/verse of the day. Today, my song was Michael Jackson's "Man in the Mirror." The emphasis is that if you want things to change, "take a look at yourself and make a change!" So there are a few things that I don't like about myself. Some come from my lack of faith, some come from my persistence to act against what I know to be good. Having a little pruning session with myself right now. Hopefully God will be working on the side effects that I can't see.
I'm busy, but having fun.

I've been thinking....

a dangerous pastime, I know.
Haha for Gaston.

Sometimes thinking is bad, sometimes mulling over things, not so bad. I've been sort of having thoughts about God and what He means in this world. I've just been wondering, as I try to talk to my parents, sister, brother, family, and people in the world, how is the God I follow different. If they've made it this far without, why do they need or want Him?
I've been thinking about ways that He is present in the world, and been having some doubts. I was beginning to buy into some thoughts that the world had to offer. Something inspired a new thought though the other day. It all depends on the way you look at the world. Either you can look around and see God's presence in the world, or you can see why people would believe there is a God. Now the second part sounds pretty good until it is extrapolated upon. If you can believe that there is a God, some are bound to come to the conclusion that it is made up. That you look at the world and see beauty, and either believe in a God, or could see how people could think there was a God. It makes sense in my head. I just had to get part of that thought out...I'll be thinking on it and developing the logic further.
I wish I weren't so forgetful. Sigh.