Same ol'-Same ol'

Vonnegut wrote a story called "Timequake" in which people were forced to repeat the last ten years of their life. They know what was going to happen, but they let it happen anyway. It keeps going through in a boring replay. And there was nothing to do to stop it. And when the Timequake ends, people don't know what to do since they no longer have to watch their lives.
Sometimes I feel like that in my life. I make the same mistakes over and over. Don't like the things I do, but the moment I'm freed from them, I don't know what else to do, so I go right back into them. It feels kinda hopeless sometimes. Actually specific situations, all the time.
I want to pray against them. But there is a reason I hold on to them. I'm not willing to let God interact in those situation. I still want to own those things.
Sometimes I don't know how I can be willing to offer things to God. I mean, I know in theory, but i don't know practically. Or I'm not willing to.
Well, my summer is running short really fast. I can see the end coming up way too soon. Which means I've gotta start knocking out some of my goals pretty quick here.
That will count as my blog for tonight...